Our Founder’s Story: From Grief to Purpose

In 2012, my life was redefined by a single, devastating loss. After losing my husband of nine years to pancreatic cancer, I found myself navigating a raw and relentless grief. Seeking relief from the familiar spaces and routines that intensified my pain, I made the radical decision to leave my home country of Nigeria and move to Canada.

I arrived with a Master’s degree in Education & Development and over a decade of experience in youth care and advocacy. Still, I enrolled in Humber College’s Child and Youth Work program - what I believed would be a temporary refuge from my grief. Instead, it became the catalyst for a lifelong mission. I was being guided toward a calling that would eventually help heal my own heart.

My first direct experience in the Canadian youth care system was in a Grade 5 classroom, where I was assigned to support three young people identified as having ‘behavioural concerns’. One was disruptive and angry. Another was painfully withdrawn. The third openly questioned the purpose of school itself. As I took time to get to know them - their fears, dreams, and lived realities - one moment stopped me cold.

One of the children, just ten years old, told me his five-year plan was to be in jail. Even more disturbing, he already had a clear pathway mapped out.

In that moment, my own grief dissipated.

What causes a child to believe that a prison cell is his chosen destiny?

Over the next twelve weeks, I poured myself into supporting these children with a blend of professional skill, newcomer optimism, and an instinctive, motherly care. With safety, consistency, and trust, something remarkable happened. The disruptive child passed his math test with an excellent score for the first time and began to take pride in himself. The quiet child found his voice and revealed an exceptional talent as the ‘Class Champ’ in building and designing Lego. Another discovered art as a lifeline that made school bearable. In just a few weeks, I witnessed real transformation.

What I learned was simple and profound: instability in early life robs children of possibility, but safety restores it.

My next placement was in a youth group home for children under 16 who were considered ‘government wards.’ There, the realities of the child welfare system became impossible to ignore. I met young people who had endured domestic violence, neglect, and abandonment.

One of them, Youth R, had been removed from his home after calling the police to protect his mother from ongoing abuse. His father was arrested, and tragically, his mother blamed him for “breaking up the family” and abandoned him. He was angry, deeply and understandably so.

Through teaching me how to play chess, Youth R found pride in possessing a skill that an authority figure did not have. Being allowed to lead empowered him.
We built a relationship rooted in mutual respect, and he began to flourish. But on the eve of his 16th birthday, the system happened to us. He had aged out of the group home and was being transferred to a youth shelter.

With tears streaming down his face, he asked me, “Will you come with me to the new place?”

I couldn’t. And that moment broke me.

Those experiences revealed an undeniable truth: young people are ageing out of care without stable housing, trusted relationships, or meaningful opportunities to rebuild their lives.

This realization kept me awake many nights. In Nigeria, family and community support systems - what I call The Village - serve as a living, breathing safety net. While challenges exist, communal responsibility often prevents young people from falling completely through the cracks. In Canada, I encountered a system that was professional and well-intentioned, yet often clinical, frequently missing the relational, nurturing foundation young people desperately need.

I resolved then that if all I could do was offer a safe haven, both in my heart and through a physical space, to the youth who needed it most, that would become my life’s work.

Oasis Youth Care represents the marriage of these two worlds. We take the rigorous, evidence-based standards of Canadian youth care and infuse them with the rich relationship-centred philosophy of the African community. We don't just provide services; we build a village.

In the five years I have spent on the frontlines of Oasis Youth Care, I have seen what becomes possible when trauma is replaced with trust. I have watched dreamy pathways to jail transform into the realities of college graduations. I have seen hurting youths heal and return to the warmth of reconciled family relationships.

I live for this: the unbreakable hope that Oasis Youth Care will always exist to give vulnerable young people a real chance at life—a good life, a purposeful life. 

I remain deeply committed to standing in the gap, being part of the solution, and ensuring that no young person is defined by the instability they were born into.

“The gap is clear and the need is obvious: young people need a safe home, trusted guidance, and genuine opportunities to rebuild their lives.”

Grace Udodong
Founder, Oasis Youth Care